Anybody New, Anytime Soon

My morning began with excessive cleaning and a 40 minute bus journey back home. I was shattered. No sleep and no rest had left me powered only by a Cappuccino that I bought at Costa while waiting for the bus to arrive.


I sat on an empty bus (surprisingly surreal) and drifted off, safe in the knowledge that the Reggae radio station I found would suffice as company. I was a whole new classification of tired.

Opening the door to my bedroom was an overwhelming relief but by now I was in a state of 'overtiredness' - that contradictory feeling whereby you're actually too tired to fall asleep. Instead you find a new source of energy from nowhere and begin to think you're not that tired at all...until you lie down for 'a short nap' and realise you've just awoken 3 hours later.

I had a friend over in the late afternoon. We played table tennis again but, despite my cockiness, she beat me. I doubt I'll hear the end of it and rightly so. Beaten in my own home. A great dishonour. We then played Spit, which she also beat me at...5 times. Further dishonour.
I played guitar for ages today and it's starting to hurt my fingertips less when I play. With that said, I'm still a way off of retaining the full feeling among the tips of my left fingers. I have another lesson tomorrow, which I'm really looking forward to.

Soon, my evening turned sour. Suffices to say I was really upset by something. I won't elaborate or go into any sort of detail as this blog isn't an excuse for me to have a go at people or make assumptions of individuals. Hell, I'm even really careful about the names of friends I mention and delving into potential conflict would be unnecessary and boring. So I'll avoid that and just point out that it seems very probable that I was lied to concerning something I consider important. That shows a lack of respect and for me, aside from happiness, respect is the most important thing. I suppose that's all I want to say.

Either way I telephone my friend (the one who came over earlier) to talk about the whole thing. I don't know what it is about friends who'll always listen but she's one of them. I felt much better and we moved on to talk about other things as well.

So far, nearly everything I've learnt has been a positive thing. Today is different. I learnt not to trust people as much. I learnt that I can sometimes put far too much faith in people I care about. I think that is a mistake a lot of people partly bring upon themselves and I know that I definitely won't grant my absolute trust to anybody new, anytime soon. People can mistake a trusting attitude for weakness and go on to exploit it. It's sad but it's true. Obviously, this isn't news to anyone but it's definitely easily forgotten.
I basically mastered playing A Horse With No Name today and, to end on a positive note, I learnt that sometimes you don't need to look as hard as you think to find somebody who cares about what you have to say.