What a Fail

Working ceased at around 11.45pm last night and that's why I didn't post. I was completely shattered and had to do a politics essay on the contradiction within the term 'Liberal Democracy'. When I finished it I couldn't stay awake and flew into bed like a salmon. Using hindsight though I learnt that when you're in high pressure situations it's far better to relax. This is the opposite to how I usually think whereby I try to think harder and get everything done faster. I learnt that there isn't a more useful ally than a clear head. Except perhaps one with nuclear wareheads.

Now for today.

All my UCAS application has been completed including my personal statement. Universities will love it - on the condition they love pretentious, arrogant people who blow their own trumpets until their lungs explode...
Fortunately I'm told that any decent statement creates a sense of discomfort with it's author and that it's quite normal to worry about sounding like a prick.

My day did start pretty awfully. The teacher writing my reference approached me and said, "surprisingly for an English student your statement doesn't 'flow'".
Translation; "how can you possibly be studying English with a personal statement like that you illiterate fool?!"
My response was to rewrite almost the entire thing, which took up most of my free periods.

Rugby training today was intense. I couldn't finish the fitness drill and am embarrassed to admit it. I couldn't see clearly and I found it hard to balance. Extremely humiliating. Soon after, as if to add to this humiliation, my right calf muscle went and suddenly I could no longer run properly and was forced to sit out the rest of the session holding an ice back to my leg. What a fail.

I made no attempt to go out this evening as I wanted to watch Derron Brown attempt to get his viewers stuck to their chairs. Nothing happened. What a fail.

It's Rosh Hashana now.To some it is time for celebrating the Jewish new year but for me it means the following:
--> No Saturday lie in
--> Less time to work
--> Attending Shul
--> The family come over for dinner
When I first started to not care about my religion I felt rather guilty. All that history and pride seemed wasted on me. Now though I just feel detached from the whole thing and thus I go to shul, wish people Muzel Tov and obey some Jewish principles out of respect for my family's wishes. I think tradition is important even if you don't believe in what it stands for. If conforming to a tradition makes your family happy then in many cases it can be worth it. Besides, what's three days each year anyway? It's hardly a major sacrifice.
In past years I have tried hard to convince my parents that I shouldn't go to Synagogue at all. I was much younger and my parents could still comfortably force me into doing something even when I didn't want to. I was always of the impression that as I got older this would change it would only be a matter of time before they couldn't stop me from staying home. Part of me believes this to be true now but I know that it would upset a large portion of my family and, like I said, that doesn't seem worth doing.

Today I learnt that my fitness levels are PATHETIC. I need to intensify my efforts to go to the gym twice a week to fix this.
I learnt that eating MacDonald's before rugby training is a very misguided plan.
I learnt how to play an acoustic version of 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon on guitar.
I learnt that one of the best things for me to do after a difficult day is to watch an episode of Blackadder. Strange, I know, but it never fails to invert my bad mood.